Why Do Women ContinueTo Love Men Who Don't Love Them?

I have been a VICTIM of love or at least what I think was love. Maybe it was lust or infatuation I really don't know or care now. I was young and dumb and it was so exhausting on me emotionally during my adolescent years that I am more likely to cry than smile about it. But I can say my past relationship taught me so many lessons. LIKE DON'T BE A FOOL FOR LOVE!!! Yes! I realized you can only love and care about a person so much and its deadly to love them more than yourself. And if they don't do right by you now they won't until they CHOOSE too!

So that brings me back to my title of this blog, "Why do women continue to love men who don't love them?" Maybe its our egos. Meaning we can't understand or accept the fact that this man don't want us or love us back. Maybe we are conditioned to believe that one day this man will love me because he will see how great a woman I am. Maybe we continue to love them because we're scared to love anyone else or we don't want them to have anyone else. Or maybe we are just DUMB! DELIRIOUS! STUPID IN LOVE! Yeah I said it! It's a proven fact that love messes with our mental state to make practical decisions. According to National Geographic.com, "Scientists say that the brain chemistry infatuation is akin to mental illness-which gives new meaning to madly in love."
I truly believe what we sometimes think is love is purely infatuation or lust and we think its love but whatever it is do not give your love to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Don't love anyone who doesn't love you back. Love is to sacred and precious to be wasted. Be smart ladies and watch who you love.

"The worst thing is loving somebody who doesn't want to be loved by you."

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

WHY WHITE WOMEN LOVE OUR BLACK MEN?

Found this artice on the internet @ www.nypress.com and I thought it was pretty insightful to why white women gawk all over our men. The lady was very honest and she basically admitted that she isn't color blind. She see black skin and she loves it! I love the fact that she admitted that race and skin color is her attraction instead of hitting me with bs of "how she can't find a white man" or "love is colorblind" etc stuff. She said it simple she like black men because they are black men. Lets hope black men who date outside they race can finally admit the same thing and stop tryna degrade black women for the reason they date white women. (or any other woman) Because if I hear one more black man say something negative about a black woman to justify his reasons to date his Becky's and Amber's I am going to SCREAM! (i just screamed lol)

http://www.nypress.com/article-12509-a-white-woman-explains-why-she-prefers-black-men.html

What is Black?

WHO YOU CALLING A BITCH????

WHO YOU CALLING A BITCH?? U-N-I-T-Y, U-N-I-T-Y THAT'S A UNITY! Now we all know that song made famous by Queen Latifah. But what happened to the anger she felt when she was disrespected by a man calling her out her name. She says, "Everytime I hear a brother call a girl a bitch or a ho/Tryna make a sister feel low/ All that has gots to go." But nowadays you don't just hear a brother call a siater a bitch or ho you hear females calling themseleves that too. Now men aren't calling a female a bitch and tryna "make her feel low" they just calling all females bitches and even the ones they love nowadays. For example, I've heard guys say "Man, I love that bitch" referring to their wife or girlfriend. Even Busta Rhymes made a song called, "I Love My Bitch" with Kelis singing on the hook. But problem is when did the word bitch become synonymous with all females? Why is the term "bitch" so popular and spoken so often?

What happen to female, girl, lady, woman, or even chick? Is these words extinct? Even on tv shows the word "bitch" is thrown around like it isn't a curse word or disrespectful to women. I remember back in the 90's I rarely heard the word "bitch" on tv. Even in my middle and high school years the word bitch wasn't used as frequently as it is now. I rarely heard it. Make you wonder where has the respect for women gone? Kat Williams says in his stand up, "I'm only calling you bitches because I don't know your name." HUH? That don't make it right. If you don't know my name ask it! Or refer to me as a female not a bitch! So if I meet your mother and I don't know her name I can be like, "Hey Ms. Bitch." Not! And for my females maybe its the female rappers like Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj & Trina who refer to themselves as the "Baddest Bitch" that we feel its ok to call ourselves and our girlfriends bitches all the time. Its not ok! If we don't respect ourselves, how can we expect respect from our men?

I am guilty of using the bitch word too. But it is so commonly used you just start to say it too. But that is no excuse because as of now I will try to retire the word bitch. It's an uglyhabit we all nee dto break. I never ever liked the word and I am constantly telling my male friends to stop calling females bitches. Because ultimately bitch is a disrespectful word. It means female dog and none of us are a dogs! So ladies lets give ourselves back some respect and try to limit the use of the word as much. And men if I can't call your mother, sister, auntie, granny, daughter, girlfriend or wive a bitch than don't call me one. If you get mad when a another man calls a female you love a bitch than that's more proof that bitch is not a good word.No matter how you try to rationalize it or make excuses for why you use the word. It's disrespectful period! So don't use it! So the next time a man or a woman calls you out ya name. Turn around channel your best impression of Queen Latifah and say, "Who you calling a bitch??" U-N-I-T-Y!!! YOU GOTTA LET THEM KNOW!!

Always BSB,
MISS BSB
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TOP 5 THINGS ALL WOMEN SHOULD DO

Number 5. Get Ya Groove Back & Take a Exotic Vacation
I know this sounds very basic but there are so many women who have never left the neighborhood they grew up in. They are like Dorothy in The WIZ, who had never been south of 135th st!! LOL Black women work so hard for ourselves and we take care of our children and our children's children's that we never have time for us. So take that 7 day vacation and not to no damn New Jersey or even Miami go to Jamaica, Belize, Turks & Cacaos, St. Lucia, or Barbados etc. Somewhere where you eat fresh fish and no damn tilapia!! Eat mangoes or some exotic fruit and mix in some rum and meet a local island cutie and GET YA GROOVE BACK!!!

Number 4. Be A Bad Girl Once

Now when you think bad girl you may think of those wild animals on Bad Girls Club. Yes I said wild animals and don't care. But I"m not talking about being like them. No fighting or cursing or acting inappropriate in the public for no damn reason. I am referring to letting go of all of society's rules of how a woman should act and do what makes you feel good. Let ya hair down or up, take a pole dancing class, have a one night stand, curse out ya boss, take nude pictures, kiss a girl or whatever desire you keep hidden. Be a little selfish and do what you want not what others want you to do! Become a sexy siren that does what she wants when she wants and will delicately destroy any person that gets in her way!! Marilyn Monroe said it best,
"Well behaved women rarely make history."

Number 3. Have An Orgasm
Studies show that more than 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm, and 50% of women have had trouble getting sexually aroused at some point. Only 30% of women have reported to be able to orgasm through penetration alone. Do you see the numbers? Women are having sex but not having orgasms. Which is ludicrous too me on so many levels. So ladies please learn your body, what you like, what turns you on, and try to re -create that with your man. The pleasure from an orgasm is like no other feeling. Every woman who is sexually active should experience it. Its one of life's small pleasures. THE BEST FEELING EVER!! SO LADIES STOP PLAYING & HAVE A DAMN ORGASM! :)

Number 2. Fall in Love
Are you surprised I said that? Hehe. Love is a beautiful thing and so few of us get to fall in love. Now I'm talking about true love that "Notebook" ,"Love Jones" butterflies in your stomach type of love. The love that overcomes all obstacles, emotions, and blinds you to the rest of the world. The type of love where you just want to be with him, breathe like him, lay with him, make love to him, have his babies, give up your life just to be with him. And when its over you think you can't live but you do and you never forget about the love you shared. So don't be scared ladies, FALL IN LOVE!

Number 1. Learn to Love Thy Self
This is the hardest of them all. Why? Because we live in a society that bombards us with certain images of beauty that we don't all fit in. Some of us have low self esteem based of what negative things people have told us. "We're not pretty enough." or at all. "You're fat." "You're too dark or too light." You're too skinny, too tall, too big or too small." And if you've been in an abusive relationship or had abusive parents the damage they caused could forever hurt your self worth. Show me a beautiful woman and I bet she has some self esteem issues. But I am telling you love yourself internally and externally. Love your body and accept your flaws because we all have them. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself everyday, "I am beautiful." "I am great." "I am me and I love me." This is the hardest one but,LEARN TO LOVE THY SELF LADIES!!

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

Monique Won An Oscar!! But Why are some black people mad?

Some black people mad for the same reasons we was mad for Denzel and Halle win for best actor and black actress. Because they played characters that was more negative than positive. But isn't that all apart of acting. Acting roles of different characters rather good or bad. We can't always play the "hero" or "good guy" but if we play a "bad" character than we shouldn't win an Oscar? I think Denzel Wahington played the shit out of Alonzo till this day people still quote things he said in that movie. "KING KONG DON'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!" LOL This was really the first time we seen Denzel Washington be the bad guy and he was amazing. Now should he had won for Malcolm X or The Hurricane? Yes! But Al Pacino should have won for his role as Michael Corleone in "The Godfather" but he won for "Scent of a Woman." I think Tom Cruise should have won for Best Actor for his role in "Jerry Maguire" (Cuba Gooding Jr. won for Best Supporting Actor) but he didn't and to this day Tom Cruise has not won any Oscars!!!

Halle Berry role in Monsters Ball was a bit too much for me. Honestly, I never really got into the movie like that. I mean Diddy was in it for gods sake. LOL But when I watched it again today I was reminded of why she won the award. She really did play her character well and made it so believable. Drama, emotion, gritty, that's acting! Was the sex scene extra? Yay a little but she ain't the first to do a sex scene nor the last. And when you look at her acceptance speech you see she was deserving. Now Monique played Precious mom like no other. She is a comedian yet she turned into this serious character and had us all convinced she was this nasty, miserable, villainous character. That is good acting! And she deserved an Oscar because her performance was moving.

Now black people ain't never grateful. We get one thing and want the next. If we got our 40 acres and a mule we probably ask "Why we ain't get 45?" If you look at Academy Awards history to actors of color its terrible. Black actors get more recognition than any other ethnic group. Racism exists but if we continue to complain and not make our own films and create more Oscar-worthy films than we need to relax and appreciate the accolades we get. That is why I liked "Precious" because it was a drama movie with an all black ensemble. (and that's rare) We should be mad that MORE black actors aren't nominated for Oscars rather than what type of character they played. Plus the Oscars are known to give overdue awards not just to black people but all people.(i.e,Martin Scorsese) And I bet if Tom Cruise ever wins it will be for a film not as good as his previous ones. So lets rejoice in our black actors achievements and stop complaining!! Let's be happy they are recognized for they talents and CONGRATULATIONS MY SWEET BABY MONIQUE!!! :)

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

COMPLEXION OBSESSION:NEW DOCUMENTARY

I went to one of my fav webistes worldstarhiphop.com and I seen this video. I would like for you to watch it and tell me your opinion. I only have a few thoughts:

1. Why ask a light/exotic/mixed woman do she see a diff in light vs dark? Of course she won't because she is on the good side of this craziness. She will never see or understand the color complex because she is not affected. (all lighter models said they don't think it exist) People can try to play me with that personality crap etc but we are physical beings. We know what we like and we have our thoughts on what is attractive and unfortunately being "brown" or non-black is not perceived as being as beautiful as some other women.

2. In 2010 , are we really still picking the white doll cmon people! Is it that serious? Now mind you she got a black bratz doll and they are scary. LOL But for everyone in the documentary to pick the white doll I see that as a real problem.

3. Rick Ross seriously tho? The reason you pick more Spanish and exotic women is because more show up. Whatever! On to the next one. Cassidy is right unfortunately men and women have subconsciously went with lighter counterparts because we grew up believing they were more beautiful.

4. We would not be having this discussion so much if videos would atleast show some variety. For once, please have a mix of different women and maybe black women would not continue to complain. All we see is our black male artists with damn there all light/mixed/exotic models around them. How can you not feel some type of way. Make you wonder is brown not good enough?

5. The color complex is alive and well. Just like racism is don't get fooled because Obama is in office. Some things will never change but what we can change is our attitudes. To all my Brownies don't let this affect you negatively! You are beautiful regardless of what standard of beauty is portrayed in the world.

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

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"Your Pretty to be Dark-Skinned" is NOT A COMPLIMENT!!

Being a brownie I have heard this on more than one occasion and it always leaves me with a bad feeling. WHY? Because it makes me wonder, "Why am I pretty to be dark-skinned?" As if, being brown was an automatic cause for being ugly or unattractive. Is every lightskin girl pretty? No. Is every white woman, Asian, Puerto Rican, Indian etc, woman attractive? No. neither is every brownie but we are all beautiful in our own ways. There is someone that will be attracted to each of our own beauty.

All brownies are not unattractive! We all are unique and you can't judge us based on one view. Look at Michelle Obama, Naomi Campbell, Nia Long, Jessica White, Chilli, Reagon Gomez, Iman, Beverley Johnson, Kenya Moore, Carla Campbelll, Tatanya Ali, Keisha Knight- Pulliam, Gabrielle Union, Kelly Rowland etc., and all the non-famous brownies who walk the streets everyday. So next time you see a brownie and she is attractive, just say, "You're beautiful." "You're pretty." "You are gorgeous." Nothing more. Nothing less. Not she is pretty because of our skin color but because she is just that..pretty.

Always BSB,
Miss BSB