SUCCESSFUL, STRONG, BLACK, AND UNLOVED

While on twitter I went to my friend Erin page and I seen a link on her page to go check out a lady who knew exactly what a "winter boo" was. So I checked out the article called,"Successful, Black and Lonely" about a woman named Helena who wrote a book called, "Bitch is the New Black." Now as I read the piece it came more apparent too me that the "strong black female" may really be all a facade. Now I am not saying that black women aren't strong but are they as strong as we really think they are? My mom held down so many jobs she did Tupperware, pre-paid legal, pampered chef, AVON, 9-5, jewelry, ardyss, school bus driver, you would had thought she was part Jamaican. We always had food on the table and a roof over our head and clothes on our back. But was my mom really happy? Or was she just doing her job as a mother? Did she ever want to just be "weak" for a moment. Was she only strong because she felt that was what she was "supposed" to do?

Which brings me back to the article that highlighted black women who had high- paying salaries, high-power jobs, and lavish lifestyles. The black woman we see with the Gucci shoes, Louis Vuitton brief, Chanel suit, a Lexus, and condo who looks like their life is great. But even though they have a high income and materialistic things we would die for, they are unhappy. These women are lonely and sometimes depressed. They have no man and no one to love them and sometimes they don't even have "good" friends. They put their career first and they have this independent attitude channeled through this destiny child persona that is just too much. Reality check, Beyonce got a husband! This leaves successful black women unapproachable and therefore lonely. And when they get a man they don't know how to be a woman and let a man be a man. A real man don't want to hear your attitude and have you treat him like your his mother and criticize him and tell him you don't need him. Men need to be needed!
Black women need to learn how to submissive and not think its degrading or demeaning. It is us against the world and for some reason we feel the need to be this so called "strong black woman because we do not want to be seen as weak. Maybe its because we had to deal with so much more than any other race like slavery, racism, black men and imprisonment, and the failing of the "black family. Or maybe because we were always the back bone of our families. I mean I have never seen the term "strong white woman" or "strong latina woman" but they hold down they families as much as we do. They are trying to be successful as much as we are. Yet they are more likely to be married than black women. Younger women pride themselves in becoming successful and not becoming a statistic but all those degrees, titles, and materialistic things do not equal happiness.

Your Manolo's cant keep you warm at night, your Prada bag can't kiss you on the forehead in the morning, your Lexus can't make you laugh, your vibrator is not sex(sorry), your degrees can't give you butterflies, and your job is not your man! We need to change the persona of the strong black woman who is not only strong but who is able to love and be loved. Or just say forget it and act like a white woman. They're not doing to be bad. :)

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

HERES THE ARTICLE : http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/09/AR2009120904546.html