COMPLEXION OBSESSION:NEW DOCUMENTARY

I went to one of my fav webistes worldstarhiphop.com and I seen this video. I would like for you to watch it and tell me your opinion. I only have a few thoughts:

1. Why ask a light/exotic/mixed woman do she see a diff in light vs dark? Of course she won't because she is on the good side of this craziness. She will never see or understand the color complex because she is not affected. (all lighter models said they don't think it exist) People can try to play me with that personality crap etc but we are physical beings. We know what we like and we have our thoughts on what is attractive and unfortunately being "brown" or non-black is not perceived as being as beautiful as some other women.

2. In 2010 , are we really still picking the white doll cmon people! Is it that serious? Now mind you she got a black bratz doll and they are scary. LOL But for everyone in the documentary to pick the white doll I see that as a real problem.

3. Rick Ross seriously tho? The reason you pick more Spanish and exotic women is because more show up. Whatever! On to the next one. Cassidy is right unfortunately men and women have subconsciously went with lighter counterparts because we grew up believing they were more beautiful.

4. We would not be having this discussion so much if videos would atleast show some variety. For once, please have a mix of different women and maybe black women would not continue to complain. All we see is our black male artists with damn there all light/mixed/exotic models around them. How can you not feel some type of way. Make you wonder is brown not good enough?

5. The color complex is alive and well. Just like racism is don't get fooled because Obama is in office. Some things will never change but what we can change is our attitudes. To all my Brownies don't let this affect you negatively! You are beautiful regardless of what standard of beauty is portrayed in the world.

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

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"Your Pretty to be Dark-Skinned" is NOT A COMPLIMENT!!

Being a brownie I have heard this on more than one occasion and it always leaves me with a bad feeling. WHY? Because it makes me wonder, "Why am I pretty to be dark-skinned?" As if, being brown was an automatic cause for being ugly or unattractive. Is every lightskin girl pretty? No. Is every white woman, Asian, Puerto Rican, Indian etc, woman attractive? No. neither is every brownie but we are all beautiful in our own ways. There is someone that will be attracted to each of our own beauty.

All brownies are not unattractive! We all are unique and you can't judge us based on one view. Look at Michelle Obama, Naomi Campbell, Nia Long, Jessica White, Chilli, Reagon Gomez, Iman, Beverley Johnson, Kenya Moore, Carla Campbelll, Tatanya Ali, Keisha Knight- Pulliam, Gabrielle Union, Kelly Rowland etc., and all the non-famous brownies who walk the streets everyday. So next time you see a brownie and she is attractive, just say, "You're beautiful." "You're pretty." "You are gorgeous." Nothing more. Nothing less. Not she is pretty because of our skin color but because she is just that..pretty.

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

SHAME: 9 yr old girl hates her brownskin!

Once again another little black girl hates her complexion. I am so over this! I went to one of my fav websites Worldstarhiphop.com where I came pass this video of the Tyra Banks show that said, "Beautiful 9 yr old girl on Tyra saying she wish she was light-skinned so boys will like her." OMG Now Tyra Banks is famous for these light vs. dark and color complex issues on her show. (which can really get annoying after a while)But this one video hit me hard. So hard that I had to blog it. Why?

Well, because I was this little girl at some point. I grew up wanting to be lightskinned and have the long "good" hair and pretty eyes. Granted my father is darker than me has light brown eyes and my brother got them. Bastard! LOL And everyone use to say , "How come your eyes not like Jarrett?" I used to be so mad. Plus my father side is native american and black so my aunts and cousins have that pochontas hair but that skipped me too. But back to my point. So I used to look at some of my classmates and neighborhood friends and want to be like them. Never to the extreme where I hated my skin color or hair. But I always wondered if my life was better if I was lighter because it seemed like the lighter girls got all the attention. Now boys liked me and I was always told I was pretty and I never felt ugly. But I did feel the color complex and the difference in how people treated light-skin girls and brownies. Fortunately, for me I got over it and moved on and accepted myself for me. I sometimes still have my moments where I feel inferior to lighter girls and its not because I am not confident. But when you go to the club or look at the media you just start to wonder is it really better being light?

Now, this little girl is either going to accept her skin color and be the baddest brown skin girl alive. Or she is going to forever be ashamed of her complexion. I pray for the latter. Because it is unfair that us brownie have to go through this! It has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years. When will it ever stop! Maybe colorism is like racism it will never end because it is truly a mental thing that is taught based on your upbringing and environment. I created BrownSkinBeauties for this exact reason to change the thought processes of both the women who suffer from the color complex and the men who feed into it.

Men, especially black men make it so hard for us brownies. And dark skin men are the worst ones. The are the ones who are quick to praise a lightskin girl over a brownie before a lightskin or white man. (when we same complexion!)I say this, because I have personally experienced it. I do believe it's because they suffer from the color complex themselves and to date a person of the same complexion would be to much for their own color issues. Dating a lighter, white or exotic woman makes them feel more like "the man" because a brownie is just not good enough for them. Sometimes I feel like its a cover up for their own self issues and dating someone lighter makes them feel more attractive or accepting of themselves. But this mental state of beauty, hurts the black communtiy, and any other race that suffers from color complex issues. Not only do we have the media, "white standard of beauty" we now have our own black men telling us that we are not beautiful. Treating us as second rate. There is no reason why I have more white men praising my mocha skin color than my own black men. And when you're a child, everything seems so much more harder. It hurts so much more so I know what this 9 yr old girl is feeling. It is not easy to just brush it off when the boy you like is constantly looking over you for the pretty "lightskin girl."

In closing, I am going to need for this color complex ish to stop! Is it going to stop tommorow? No. Is it ever going to stop? I don't think so because it is so much deeper than we think. We have to change how we think and create new standards of beauty because that is the only way we can really step into the right direction. I hope this 9 yr old girl and all the young brownies out there will eventually build their confidence and accept and love their brownskin. Your brownskin is beautiful and do not let anyone tell you any different. Because in 2010, I am not giving into this light vs. dark, I am no longer feeling second to light skin girls or letting any video, media outlet, or man depict my beauty. BROWNSKIN IS IN!!!! AND IM LOVIN IT!! (in my mcd's voice) :)

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Judgement? Where they do that at?

They do judgement everywhere! Why? I do not understand because no one on this earth is better than anyone. Yes I said it! To all those holier than-thous and those who think they are better than anyone. Now to all the religious people who pass judgement let me tell you something. We are all sinners, we fall victim to sin, and we all have faults. Just because you go to church, mosque, hall, synagogue or any other place of worship do not make you better than anyone. Because some of the same people are at the club drinking and fornicating the day before and after.
So when people pull that religious card with you go and ask them when they last time they sinned. Trust. It wasn't to long ago. GOD sees all things good and bad.

Now to the hating ass, ignorant ass folks that judge people based on their own personal opinions. Fuck off! I love how these decepticons are quick to judge people based on their own ignorant thoughts but inside wish they could do what you doing. These people make judgements about people they do not know and subject matters where they have no real information. People like this are usually ignorant, self-absorbed, and usually jealous. Most of no clue of the real world and only live in their little boxes and think that people should live their life according to their standards. NOT! Once again FUCK OFF!

Than you have the hypocrites. People who judge you but than go ahead and do the same things that they are judging you for. Or they criticize you for the same things they did in their past but now because they "saved" or they feel its a new day, they judge you. Chile please! For example, a man who tells his son not to abuse woman but yet he beats on females. A woman who looks down on women who strip but yet they dancing half butt naked in the club every sat night, drunker than a skunk, and than one night stands a guy. These women are the ones who quick to jump on any pole in the club or train station but judge the ones who make a living from it to feed they kids, pay for school or etc. Chile please! The men who claim not to like gay people yet they daydreaming about Morris Chestnut at night. DL losers. The women who say, "Why she got so many kids? or Why she 16 and pregnant? But they forgot they was 17 and pregnant before or had multiple abortions or gave their baby up for adoption. Or the women who talk bad about escorts/prostitutes but yet they been ran through they whole neighborhood. Atleast they getting paid for giving it up and you getting gang banged by Tyrone and them for nothing! The man who talks bad about Tiger Woods yet he cheats on his wife when he goes on business trips. I could go on and on.

But I know this people stop the judgement! We all are human and not one of us are better than anyone else. We all fall to sin and we all have flaws. None of us are perfect. We all have old skeletons in our past so who are we to judge and no one should judge us for our faults. So unless you are GOD himself please DO NOT JUDGE!

Always BSB,
Miss BSB

Black Women: Know Your Self Worth

I know too many women who have been with men they was not worth a penny! Not even a penny with a hole in it! They was worthless! But it boggled my mind that these beautiful, brilliant, educated, loving women was with these "good for nuthin" men. Some say it was because of love, sex, or because they was comfortable and did not want to find another mate. But it boils down to SELF-WORTH.

If you know you are deserving of a man that would love you unconditionally and will appreciate and love you despite your flaws; and not mistreat,abuse,or cheat on you than you are on the right path. As women of the new millenium, we feel because there are so few available men, we have to take whomever we can get. But baby that is not true! Yes there are more females than males but does that mean you settle for anything? When you settle for anything you become unhappy and eventually misery will breed its ugly head.

Men are way smarter than we think. They know they aint shit. They know that they are using you. They know as long as you have low self-esteem your not gonna leave them. That is why they say, "stay away from friends" and "your mom don't know what she talking bout." Or they criticize anything or anyone that they think will make you a better person.(really anything that will make you know your self -worth and leave they ass!)They know that they don't have to work because my "ol' lady got it." They know that as long as they say a couple of "I love you's" and give you good sex your going to forgive them everytime. Men know this! They know what they can and can not do to their wives and girlfriends. But we fall for it everytime. It's like we have a complex. We think its ok for him to cheat as long as he makes up for it. We think its ok for a men to abuse us as long as he apologizes and buys us a nice gift. We think its ok because its apart of life. It is not. Or because it happened to Keisha or our mom we get confused by what love really is. We live for the "making up" stuff. But it is all a fascade. Because men know what to do to get us back.
Here is the classics:
1. Apologies (so many that it floods ya emails, texts, and vm's to the point you give in)
2. Gifts (luxury gifts and flowers etc) (things he never really bought you before)
3. Willingness to do anything (mow ya lawn, wash dishes,give up his phone, take you out every weekend etc)
4. Good Behavior but for a limited time (because trust and believe when he see you have forgiven him he will ease back into his old self
6. "I Changed" ( 9 out of 10 its lies) How can a person change overnight? You can't be a cheater all your life and tommorrow you a one woman man.
7. Stunts ( tattoo of your name , fake suicides, quit a bad habit, going over your mom house crying etc) this all to get a reaction out of you. Most women are sensitive so this over the board actions gets us everytime.


But if you know your self worth no amount of gifts, apologies, love or pure "comfort" will allow you to settle for a relationahip that is not in sync with your value as a WOMAN! And if a man tells you, " You won't find another man better than him." You tell him in your best Beyonce voice, "You must not know bout me/ You must know bout me/ I can have another you in a minute and he'll do it way BETTER than you ever did it! Baby!

Always BSB,
Miss BSB
"Self-worth is a direct result of our self-esteem. If our esteem is high than our self-worth is high. Which only allows us to attract and be with people of a higher standard."

UR BEAUTY IS BEAUTIFUL!

We are constantly bombarded with images everyday from the media. We see so many models and and celebrities who are described as being beautiful, sexy, alluring, and attractive. But how many of those images look like us? Don't get me wrong we have Naomi Campbell, Gabrielle Union, Nia Long but they are far and in between. If you really pay attention to the media they kind of the same type that they call "beauty". Tall ,long hair, thin, colored eyes,small lips and fair skinned. Now I am none of those. I am short, brownskin, full lips, shapely, with medium length hair and dark brown eyes. I do not look like the typical girl next door or even a Victoria's Secret model. But I think better yet I know I am beautiful. But than, there are those days ,that I open up a magazine or see a music video and I am questioning my "beauty". Wishing and hoping that I could change my thick legs, have hazel eyes, or even long wavy hair. Sometimes I want to be taller or smaller or something. And yes I have been thru the "I wish my skin was lighter" phase thinking that if it was lighter I would be percieved as more beautiful. But I am so over that...I am a brownie and damn proud!!! I will never be lighter or taller or have bigger breast or lighter eyes..etc I can only be me!!

So this is to say do not get beated down by the media and other people opinions of what beauty is? Your beauty is your beauty! The moment we are able to accept ourselves and embrace our flaws they better we will be. I know this is hard brownies. Especially being a brown girl we are constantly being put to the side as second best but we cant let that ignorance get to us! For every man that don't like brown skin its another man thats loves it! Trust and believe. And whatever you may think is your flaw work on making it your plus. Aceept it and make the best out of what GOD gave you. GOD don't make mistakes. And if you can change it than change it. But never ever never ever never ever try to look like someone else because their beauty is not your beauty. Plus some of the most attractive people have the lowest self confidence and they are unhappy with themselves too. Proving that no one is happy with themselves until they accept their own unique "beauty".

In closing brownies, try your best to accept yourself for who you are. Do not let anyone else beauty standards affect your self esteem. Love the skin your in! Embrace your body and know ur beauty is beautiful!

Always BSB,

Miss BSB

New Year ,New Me, New You!

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and NYE. My Christmas was not so good but my NYE was fantastic. I came home to Philly on new years and spent time with my family. I love them to death. Its almost like a tradition where we make appetizers and party all night long. I swear we do it every year and it never gets old. Love it!
Well now that it is a new year, it means new things and new ideas. A new attitude and maybe a new pair of shoes. LOL I did a self evaluation last year and I seen my flaws. I quit damn there everything I started and made excuses to justify why I did quit. I cried about jobs when in reality I had about 7 jobs within the last year and a half but when I didn't like something I left or never showed up. That is not a good character trait. Whose to say that if I had keep one of those jobs I would of been in NY now instead of Atlanta. How would my life had been if I had finished all the goals I had set?

I like to believe that everything happens for a reason.That through all the trials, errors, and tribulations life is preparing us for a better future. But what if that isn't true? What if life is what we make it? Maybe there isn't some magical reason to why bad shit happens and good things don't. Maybe we make our minds believe that everything happens for a reason so that we can find comfort in the all the disappointing stuff that happens to us. I don't know. But I do know that in 2010 I will change myself for the better and I will continue to throughout my life and not just when a new year begins.

I believe in destiny and that we are all here to be great at something. But destiny isn't enough you have to put hard work behind it and fight for it till the end. I mean do you think people was destined to be crackheads. Hell no! They had a destiny too but they did not take advantage. Faith is only one part. You cant leave it up to GOD or anyone else. Because if you do you maybe waiting forever. For example, there are poor people who to go to church every Sunday but yet they are still poor. They have faith, give tithe and pray but yet they suffer financially. But the preacher has a Benz and a big house and yet he does not suffer financially. Why? Because he put forth the effort rather it was screwing members out there money or making their own christian empires, either way they are not struggling.

My point is that we can have all the things we want in this world with a little faith, hard work, and a plan to get us there. Don't just make a new years resolution make a life resolution. Stick to it and don't give up. Because the moment you do it will take you steps backwards not forward. Life is short. Life is hard. Life will have ups and downs. Life is truly what you make it. So you have to live it fully with no excuses and no fear. Go for it my brownies. Be who it is you want to be! Success and happiness is waiting for you.

Always BSB,
Miss BSB